Tips for Dealing with Bullies

Bullying is a widespread issue that affects individuals of all ages across various environments, from schools and social gatherings to online communities. Its emotional and psychological impact can be significant and long-lasting, often shaping how individuals see themselves and interact with the world around them.

To effectively address bullying, it’s critical for parents, educators, and students to recognize the signs, understand why it happens, and take steps to stop it. Without intervention, bullying can escalate and leave those affected to deal with the consequences for years.

This guide provides practical advice for managing bullying situations—whether you’re experiencing it, witnessing it, or working to make your community a safer place. By responding with awareness and decisive action, we can reduce the harm caused by bullying and support those who need it most.

For additional help, download our bully prevention resources or join our online bully prevention course.

Understand What Bullying Is

The first step in addressing bullying is understanding what it is and how it manifests. Bullying is not a one-time conflict or disagreement.

It is a deliberate, repeated act of aggression intended to cause physical, emotional, or psychological harm to another person. It thrives on power imbalances, where the person bullying seeks to control or intimidate someone they perceive as vulnerable.

Bullying can take various forms, each with distinct methods of harm:

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying is perhaps the most easily recognized form which involves direct actions such as hitting, pushing, tripping, or damaging someone’s property. While the physical harm is visible, the psychological toll it takes—such as creating fear and anxiety—is equally significant.

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying involves the using words to demean or hurt. It can include name-calling, persistent teasing, insulting comments, or inappropriate remarks about someone’s appearance, background, or abilities. The impact of verbal bullying is often underestimated, yet its emotional effects can be long-lasting and deeply damaging.

Relational Bullying

Relational bullying, sometimes referred to as social bullying, is more insidious. It involves efforts to damage someone’s social connections and reputation, often through exclusion, gossip, or manipulation. This form of bullying can be particularly harmful as it isolates the individual and undermines their sense of belonging.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying extends bullying into the digital world. It includes using social media platforms, messaging apps, or email to spread hurtful messages, post offensive content, or impersonate someone to humiliate them. Cyberbullying can feel relentless because it follows individuals beyond the schoolyard or workplace and invades their personal lives at any time of day.

Recognizing these behaviours is essential for anyone who interacts with children or teens—whether as parents, educators, or peers. Spotting bullying early allows for timely intervention which can prevent the situation from escalating and help those affected feel supported and protected.

Awareness of the different ways bullying presents itself is the foundation for taking meaningful action. Understanding that bullying is not limited to overt acts of aggression but often operates in subtle, persistent ways equips individuals to respond appropriately and consistently.

Encourage Open Communication

One of the most critical steps in addressing bullying is creating an environment where open communication is not only encouraged but expected.

Individuals who experience bullying often feel trapped by fear, shame, or embarrassment which can prevent them from reaching out for help. Breaking this silence is essential to providing timely support and preventing further harm.

For Parents

Parents play a vital role in creating a home environment that fosters open dialogue. Regular conversations about daily life—including school, friendships, and online activities—help children feel secure in sharing their experiences. Rather than waiting for signs of distress, parents should be proactive in checking in, asking open-ended questions, and listening attentively.

Avoid minimizing your child’s feelings or jumping to solutions too quickly. Instead, show empathy by acknowledging their emotions and letting them know it’s okay to feel upset, angry, or confused. The goal is to build a relationship where your child knows they can come to you without fear of being dismissed or blamed.

Simple prompts like, “How are things going with your friends?” or “Have you noticed anything that’s made you uncomfortable online?” can open the door to meaningful conversations. If your child seems reluctant to talk, remind them regularly that they can come to you about anything, no matter how difficult it might feel.

For Educators

In schools, educators have a responsibility to create an environment where speaking up about bullying is normalized and expected. Addressing bullying requires more than occasional lessons during anti-bullying week. It demands consistent, year-round education that reinforces the importance of respect, empathy, and accountability.

Educators should incorporate regular discussions about bullying into the curriculum. These can include role-playing scenarios, guided conversations, and lessons on recognizing bullying behaviors in themselves and others. Encouraging students to reflect on how their actions affect those around them helps to build empathy and awareness.

In addition to education, schools should implement systems that make it easy and safe for students to report bullying. Anonymous reporting tools—whether through a digital platform, suggestion box, or designated staff member—allow students to come forward without fear of retaliation. However, it’s equally important to remind students that direct communication with a trusted adult is always an option and that their concerns will be taken seriously.

Educators must also make a point to clearly communicate that talking about bullying is not a sign of weakness or “tattling.” Instead, it’s an essential step toward making schools safer and more supportive for everyone.

Why Open Communication Matters

When children and teens know they can speak openly about bullying, they are less likely to suffer in silence. This early communication allows parents, teachers, and peers to intervene before the situation escalates and provides the individual being bullied with the reassurance that they are not alone.

Creating an environment of open dialogue isn’t a one-time task—it’s an ongoing process. Whether at home or in the classroom, trust is built through consistent actions, empathy, and a commitment to listening. When adults model these behaviors, they empower children and teens to do the same which creates stronger, more resilient communities where bullying has no place to thrive.

Teach Empathy and Emotional Intelligence

Preventing bullying before it starts is one of the most effective strategies in creating safer environments for children and teens. A key component of prevention is teaching empathy and emotional intelligence—skills that help children understand and relate to the emotions and experiences of others.

When young people learn to recognize how their actions affect those around them, they are less likely to engage in bullying and more likely to intervene when they see others being harmed.

Why Empathy and Emotional Intelligence Matter

Empathy goes beyond simply recognizing that someone else is upset; it requires understanding the why behind those emotions and responding appropriately. Emotional intelligence, which includes self-awareness, self-regulation, and social awareness, helps individuals manage their own feelings and navigate social interactions effectively.

When children and teens develop these skills, they are better equipped to resolve conflicts peacefully, offer support to peers in distress, and resist the peer pressure that often fuels bullying. Empathy also helps break down the “us vs. them” mentality that can lead to exclusion and hostility.

By integrating empathy and emotional intelligence into everyday interactions—both at school and at home—adults can help children build healthier relationships and prevent harmful behaviors from taking root.

In Schools

Schools have a unique opportunity to shape social behavior by embedding emotional intelligence education into their curriculum. Programs that teach emotional literacy can be incorporated as part of social-emotional learning (SEL) initiatives which emphasize understanding emotions, managing reactions, and building positive relationships.

Teachers can use structured lessons, guided discussions, and interactive activities to help students recognize their own emotions, identify emotions in others, and practice empathy in everyday situations. For instance, teachers might use stories or role-playing exercises to help students explore how different actions impact others and discuss appropriate ways to respond to conflict.

Classroom activities that focus on teamwork and cooperation also help build social connections and reduce feelings of isolation that can contribute to bullying behaviors. Encouraging students to reflect on how their words and actions affect others—and holding them accountable when they cause harm—reinforces the importance of empathy in building a respectful community.

Educators can further promote empathy by setting clear behavioral expectations and recognizing acts of kindness and inclusion. When students see empathy valued and rewarded, they are more likely to model those behaviors themselves.

At Home

Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in developing empathy and emotional intelligence from a young age. Children learn by observing the adults around them, so modeling empathy in everyday interactions is essential.

Start by openly discussing feelings—both your own and your child’s. Use moments of conflict or disappointment as teaching opportunities by helping your child identify what they’re feeling and why. For example, instead of simply saying “Stop yelling,” try “It sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated. Can you tell me what’s going on?” This approach encourages children to articulate their emotions and understand how their reactions impact others.

Active listening is another important tool. When your child shares a concern or problem, listen without interrupting, offering advice, or dismissing their feelings. Instead, ask questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think would help?” to encourage self-reflection and empathy.

Parents can also role-play scenarios to help children prepare for challenging social situations. For instance, ask your child how they would respond if they saw someone being left out at recess or if a friend made a hurtful comment. Discuss different ways they could handle those situations empathetically and stand up for others when needed.

Additionally, modeling kindness in daily life—whether by offering a helping hand to a neighbor, showing patience with a service worker, or simply expressing gratitude—demonstrates to children how empathy can be practiced in real-world interactions.

Want to teach your child empathy and emotional intelligence? Download our guide to respect for activities that you can start today.

Teach Assertiveness, Not Aggression

One of the most effective ways to help children deal with bullying is by teaching them to be assertive. Assertiveness allows individuals to stand up for themselves, express their boundaries clearly, and communicate their feelings confidently—without resorting to aggression. It’s a skill that empowers children to handle challenging situations with dignity while reducing the likelihood of further conflict.

It’s important to distinguish assertiveness from aggression. Assertiveness is about self-respect and mutual respect, while aggression seeks to dominate or harm others. Encouraging children to fight back can escalate bullying situations, increasing the risk of physical or emotional harm. Assertiveness, on the other hand, de-escalates conflict and reinforces healthy boundaries.

Teaching assertiveness requires consistent practice, guidance, and reinforcement. Children need to learn how to express themselves in a way that is both respectful and firm, and they must understand that standing up for themselves doesn’t mean harming others.

Why Assertiveness Matters

Children who are bullied often feel powerless, which can erode their confidence and make them more vulnerable to repeated bullying. Teaching assertiveness helps children set boundaries, express their needs, and protect themselves in ways that don’t escalate conflict.

Assertiveness also benefits children in other areas of life, helping them navigate social and academic challenges with confidence and build healthier relationships.

Practical Ways to Teach Assertiveness

Practice with Role-Playing
Role-playing helps children practice assertive responses in a safe environment. Use common bullying scenarios, like hurtful comments or exclusion, and help children craft respectful, confident responses, such as:

“I don’t like what you’re saying. Please stop.”
“That’s not okay. I want you to leave me alone.”

Encourage a calm tone, eye contact, and upright posture. Repetition builds confidence, making assertive communication feel natural.

Encourage Confident Body Language
Nonverbal cues are key to assertiveness. Teach children to:

Stand tall with shoulders back.
Maintain eye contact to convey seriousness.
Use a calm tone to express control.

Confident body language reinforces their words and makes it less likely they’ll be targeted by bullies.

Avoid the “Fight Back” Mentality

Assertiveness isn’t about matching aggression. Children should understand they don’t need to use violence to stand up for themselves. Instead, they can calmly set boundaries and seek help if needed. For example:

“Stop. That’s mine, and you can’t take it.”

If the situation continues, children should walk away and ask a trusted adult for help. Assertiveness is about using their voice, not solving problems alone.

Reinforce Assertiveness Over Time

Assertiveness must be practiced regularly. Celebrate when children use assertive communication, even in small moments, like asking for help or expressing preferences. Remind them that their feelings matter and they have the right to set boundaries.

With ongoing practice, children will become more confident in handling difficult situations both with peers and in other areas of life.

Encourage Bystander Intervention for Bully Prevention

Bystanders—the individuals who witness bullying—hold significant power in either stopping or perpetuating harmful behavior. While some bystanders remain passive out of fear or uncertainty, empowering them to safely intervene can dramatically reduce the prevalence and impact of bullying. Research shows that when bystanders step in, bullying often stops within seconds.

Children and teens must understand that their silence can be interpreted as approval, while their actions—no matter how small—can make a meaningful difference in preventing or stopping bullying. Educators and parents play a key role in teaching bystanders how to respond effectively and safely.

For tips on empowering bystanders, download our curriculum.

How Bystanders Can Make a Difference

Directly Intervene (When Safe)
If it’s safe, bystanders can calmly address the bully or offer support to the victim. Simple actions like saying, “That’s not okay. Stop,” or sitting with the victim can disrupt the bully’s power. However, children should never put themselves in harm’s way.
Seek Help from an Adult
Encourage bystanders to report bullying to a trusted adult. Make it clear that reporting is responsible, not “tattling.” Schools should provide anonymous reporting systems and reinforce that students will be supported when they seek help.
Create Positive Environments
Bystanders can shift social norms by promoting kindness and inclusion. Small acts, like inviting someone to sit with them or standing up for a peer, can make a big difference over time. Educators and parents should recognize and reinforce these behaviors.

Talking to Children About Bystander Intervention

Conversations with children should focus on realistic, actionable strategies for intervention. Discuss real-life scenarios and explore options for responding. Reassure children that seeking help is responsible, not weak, and help them recognize that their actions—no matter how small—can change the social dynamic.

Empower children with tools and strategies that fit their comfort level. Not every child will feel comfortable confronting a bully, but every child can take steps to reduce bullying through support, reporting, or creating a more positive environment.

Develop Problem-Solving Skills to Manage Bullying

For children experiencing bullying, having a set of problem-solving strategies can make a significant difference in how they navigate challenging situations. Problem-solving skills empower children to think critically about their options, assess risks, and make decisions that prioritize their safety and well-being. When children feel equipped to handle bullying, they are less likely to feel helpless and more likely to take proactive steps to protect themselves.

Effective problem-solving involves more than a single response. It requires children to understand that different situations may call for different actions, and sometimes, solving the problem will require involving a trusted adult. Teaching children these skills not only helps them handle bullying but also builds their resilience and confidence in managing difficult interactions throughout their lives.

Develop Problem-Solving Skills

Problem-solving skills empower children to take control of bullying situations and reduce feelings of helplessness. Without these tools, children may avoid addressing bullying which can prolong emotional harm. Teaching them to evaluate their options, stay calm under pressure, and know when to seek help builds confidence and resilience.

Practical Ways to Teach Problem-Solving

Brainstorm Responses
Work with children to brainstorm ways to handle different types of bullying, such as name-calling or exclusion. Discuss possible responses like:

Ignoring the bully and walking away.
Responding assertively with a firm statement like, “Stop. I don’t like that.”
Seeking help from a friend or adult.

Emphasize that there is no single right response—children should choose the option that feels safest and most effective in the moment.

Practice Escalation Plans
Teach children when and how to involve a trusted adult. They should escalate if:

The bullying continues after they’ve asked it to stop.
They feel unsafe or threatened.
Physical harm or online harassment is involved.

Encourage them to provide details when reporting and reassure them that seeking help is a sign of strength.

Staying Calm and Thinking Critically in Bullying Situations

Help children manage their emotions by teaching them to:

Take deep breaths before responding.
Count to ten to avoid reacting impulsively.
Remind themselves they control their actions, even if they can’t control others.

Building Confidence Through Practice

Role-playing scenarios helps children build confidence in handling bullying. Ask questions like:

“What would you do if someone took your things?”
“How would you respond to a hurtful comment online?”

Discuss what went well and reinforce that trying different approaches is part of learning.

Set Clear Boundaries with Technology

In today’s digital world, bullying is no longer limited to the playground or classroom. Cyberbullying—harassment that occurs through phones, computers, and social media—has become increasingly common, and it can feel relentless because it reaches children in their personal spaces, at any time of day.

Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying doesn’t end when the school bell rings which means it’s essential for families and schools to establish clear boundaries around technology use to help protect children from online harm.

Setting boundaries with technology isn’t just about limiting screen time—it’s about teaching responsible online behavior, having open communication about digital experiences, and empowering children to recognize and report harmful interactions.

Set Clear Technology Boundaries

Cyberbullying can take many forms—hurtful messages, spreading rumors, or posting embarrassing content—and can feel relentless due to the constant presence of technology in children’s lives. It can cause anxiety, depression, and isolation which is why it’s crucial to establish boundaries that promote safe online behavior.

At Home: Establish Rules and Open Dialogue

Parents play a key role in preventing cyberbullying by setting clear rules and encouraging conversations about digital experiences.

Set Screen Time Limits: Balance online and offline activities by establishing device-free times during meals, outings, and before bed to reduce overexposure to online interactions.
Discuss Online Behavior: Teach children that online actions have real-world consequences. Encourage them to think before they post and understand that sharing personal information or making hurtful comments can have lasting impacts.
Set Privacy Settings: Help children adjust social media settings to limit interactions with strangers. Regular check-ins about online activity can help build trust and make it more likely they will seek help if needed.

At School: Create Policies and Provide Support

Schools must address cyberbullying with clear policies and proactive education.

Anti-Cyberbullying Policies: Define cyberbullying, outline consequences, and establish clear reporting processes to ensure incidents are taken seriously.
Education Programs: Teach students about the impact of cyberbullying, responsible online behavior, and empathy through social-emotional learning (SEL) programs.
Encourage Reporting: Create safe, anonymous reporting channels and reinforce that reporting harmful behavior is responsible, not “tattling.” Ensure students know support is available through counselors and teachers.

Build Digital Resilience

Help children manage negative online experiences by teaching them to:

Block and report harmful content.
Avoid engaging with toxic comments.
Take breaks from social media to prioritize their mental well-being.

Empowering children to set boundaries, recognize risks, and seek help when needed allows them to navigate the digital world safely and confidently.

Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

Children with a strong sense of self-worth are better prepared to handle bullying. Bullies tend to target individuals who seem unsure of themselves or socially isolated. By helping children build confidence and self-esteem, parents and educators can reduce the chances of children becoming victims and empower them to stand up for themselves when needed.

Confident children are less likely to believe the hurtful messages bullies try to convey. They recognize their value which makes them more resilient in the face of negative behavior. When children develop self-worth, they are better able to establish boundaries, assert their needs, and seek help from trusted adults without feeling shame or fear.

Building confidence isn’t just about preventing bullying—it’s about helping children develop a lifelong sense of inner strength and self-respect that allows them to navigate challenges with dignity and self-assurance.

How to Build Confidence

1. Encourage Interests and Talents

Help children pursue activities they enjoy, such as sports, music, or art. Success in these areas builds self-worth and provides healthy outlets for stress. Group activities also strengthen social connections and reduce isolation.

2. Provide Positive Reinforcement

Recognize children’s efforts and character, not just achievements. Praise perseverance, kindness, and problem-solving to help them value who they are beyond external validation. For example:

“I’m proud of how hard you worked on that.”
“You really showed perseverance.”
“Helping your friend was thoughtful.”

3. Model Confidence

Demonstrate self-respect by handling criticism and setbacks in a healthy way. Replace self-deprecating comments with affirming ones. For example:

“I’m still learning, and I’ll get better.”
“I made a mistake, but I can fix it.”

Why Confidence Matters

Confident children are more likely to:

Recognize bullying isn’t their fault.
Respond assertively without aggression.
Seek help from trusted adults.
Resist internalizing harmful messages.

Building confidence empowers children to handle bullying with resilience, assert their boundaries, and maintain a sense of self-worth regardless of others’ actions.

Develop Self-Respect Through Dialogue

In addition to building confidence, developing self-respect is essential for preventing bullying. Bullies often target children who appear unsure of themselves or hesitant to assert boundaries. When children possess a strong sense of self-respect, they are better prepared to stand up for themselves in a way that is firm, respectful, and effective.

Our bully prevention curriculum focuses on nurturing self-respect through thoughtful dialogue. Encouraging open conversations about emotions, boundaries, and self-worth helps children recognize their intrinsic value and reinforces that they deserve respect from both themselves and others. These conversations empower children to handle difficult social situations with greater resilience and clarity.

Why Self-Respect Matters in Bully Prevention

Self-respect is the foundation of assertiveness. When children respect themselves, they are less likely to accept mistreatment and more likely to advocate for their own well-being. This internal strength helps them:

Assert boundaries without resorting to aggression.
Reject harmful narratives that bullies may try to impose.
Seek help confidently when situations escalate.

Without self-respect, children may feel powerless in the face of bullying. By developing this inner strength, they gain the tools to navigate social challenges with poise and assurance.

How to Build Self-Respect Through Dialogue

Open dialogue is one of the most effective bully prevention tips for promoting self-respect. Engaging children in meaningful conversations about their feelings and experiences helps them understand that their voice matters. This process not only boosts self-esteem but also equips them to handle conflicts with confidence.

Here are key strategies to build self-respect through dialogue:

1. Use Dialogue to Build Inner Strength

Start conversations that encourage children to reflect on their self-worth and relationships. Ask questions like:

“How do you feel when someone treats you unkindly?”
“What do you do when someone makes you uncomfortable?”
“What would you say to a friend who is being mistreated?”

These discussions help children articulate their emotions and recognize that their feelings are valid. Reinforce the idea that everyone—including themselves—deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.

By regularly engaging in these conversations, children learn that they are worthy of respect and that standing up for themselves is not only acceptable but necessary.

2. Model Respectful Communication

Children learn by observing the behavior of trusted adults. One of the best ways to teach self-respect is by modeling respectful, assertive communication at home.

When discussing difficult topics—whether it’s resolving a disagreement or setting boundaries—use a calm, respectful tone. Demonstrate how to express your feelings clearly without being aggressive. For example:

Instead of saying, “I’m upset with you,” try, “I felt hurt when that happened. Let’s talk about it.”
Instead of dismissing your child’s concerns, validate them: “I see why you’re upset. Let’s figure out how to handle it.”

When children see adults communicating openly and respectfully, they learn that it’s possible to assert themselves without causing conflict or escalating tension. This skill is invaluable in bullying situations where assertiveness can often de-escalate harmful behavior.

3. Practice Role-Playing to Build Self-Respect

Role-playing is a core component of our curriculum for bully prevention. These exercises allow children to practice real-life scenarios where they might need to assert themselves.

Role-playing helps children internalize assertive communication and prepares them to handle bullying situations confidently. It also allows them to explore different approaches in a safe, supportive environment, which builds their emotional resilience over time.

Encourage children to practice standing tall, maintaining eye contact, and using a calm tone of voice during role-playing exercises. These nonverbal cues reinforce their assertive words and help them convey confidence in difficult situations.

Engage the School Community

Schools are critical environments for shaping how bullying is addressed and prevented. Children spend a significant portion of their day in school which makes it one of the most important places for guiding social interactions and encouraging respectful behavior.

As a parent or educator, collaborating with the school to implement effective bully prevention strategies can make a lasting impact. Schools that prioritize bullying prevention send a clear message that mistreatment will not be tolerated and that all students deserve to feel safe and respected.

Ready to take action in your school community? Bring our curricula to your school administration and advocate it be implemented school-wide.

How Educators Can Prevent Bullying

Educators have a unique opportunity to shape school culture and reduce bullying. Implementing proactive bullying prevention initiatives helps students develop the emotional intelligence and social skills needed to build positive relationships and handle conflicts effectively.

Here are key ways educators can implement school-wide bullying prevention programs:

Peer Mediation Programs – Train students to help resolve conflicts peacefully, reducing bullying incidents and fostering empathy.
Student-Led Bullying Prevention Clubs – Empower students to promote inclusion and raise awareness about bullying.
Regular Classroom Lessons – Integrate discussions on kindness, empathy, and respectful communication throughout the school year.

11. Seek Professional Help if Needed

Sometimes, despite everyone’s best efforts, bullying continues and can have severe emotional or psychological impacts. In these cases, seeking professional help may be necessary.

Therapy or Counseling: If your child is experiencing ongoing bullying, therapy can provide them with coping strategies, build resilience, and address any emotional trauma. Family therapy can also help address how bullying is affecting the whole family.
School Support Services: Many schools have counselors, psychologists, or social workers who can provide additional support to children who are bullied. Don’t hesitate to reach out to these resources.

12. Model Positive Behavior

Children learn by example. Parents, educators, and peers must model positive behavior in their daily interactions. Show children that problems can be resolved without aggression, that respect for others is non-negotiable, and that standing up for what is right is a crucial part of being a kind, responsible person.

At Home: Make a conscious effort to resolve conflicts calmly and with respect. Avoid using name-calling, sarcasm, or aggressive behaviors in front of children.
In the Classroom: Teachers can set the tone for respectful interaction by promoting a culture of inclusivity and kindness, both in how they treat students and how they expect students to treat one another.

Dealing with bullying requires a combination of proactive strategies, empathy, and support. By encouraging open communication, teaching emotional intelligence, and building confidence, parents and educators can empower children to stand up to bullying and create safer, more inclusive environments for everyone.

With the right tools, we can all contribute to ending bullying and promoting kindness and respect.