Boys Will Be Boys

ByDr. Terrence Webster-Doyle

My father used to say, “Boys will be boys.” I don’t think he meant anything negative by it – just that, in his eyes, boys fighting and being rough was just the way it was.

Boys were allowed, and even expected, to be somewhat aggressive and combative. This was, and still is to some extent, the accepted, conditioned view.

But as a boy I suffered a great deal from this attitude because I was not particularly aggressive – that is, “manly.” I did not like fighting with my male friends or being aggressive with girls, as many of the other boys were. I felt pressure to be aggressive and to dominate, yet I couldn’t live up to this expectation. So I got picked on, bullied. And it hurt, both physically and emotionally. 

I still feel hurt, late into my adult life. And I know it has its roots in my childhood.

Respectfully yours, Dr.T. Webster-Doyle

Dr. Terrence Webster-Doyle

Dr. Terrence Webster-Doyle (1940-2023) was an author who had a Ph.D. in Health and Human Services, a Master's Degree in Humanistic Psychology/Counseling, and and a life-time secondary and community college teaching credential. Dr. Webster-Doyle taught at Sonoma State University and Santa Rosa Community College in California in Psychology, Philosophy, Education for Peace and Youth At Risk Counseling.

He was a respected educator in the field of Bully/Victim Cycle from the "playground to the battlefield" having written over 100 internationally acclaimed, award winning literary works for young people and adults that focus on understanding what prevents peace – prejudicial conditioned thinking emanating from the primitive biological brain.